A friend i met a long time ago in California, never really keeps in contact with me anymore.
She was very cool and very loved, we only got to know each other for a week though.
Recently i found out that she had cancer and she has beaten it! I was astonished at the fact that something like that could happen to someone so young!
She is 18 and a sophmore in Harvard. A year younger than me.
A year younger, yet i wonder how difficult it must have been.
I wish i had known, i would’ve gone up to visit her.
But now of course i do know! and i will visit her! If i couldn’t be there for her then, i can still congratulate her and tell her how amazing she is.
But what to get her (: ?
I climb, so high….
It blows me away sometimes.
The other day a friend, a close friend, asked me about him
He asked me if i still talked to him
I said, “no, he died when i was 10”
He told me, “sorry”
I said, “Don’t be, he was a fucked up guy, I hated him”
He told me, “without him you wouldn’t be here”
Food for thought
I was bored so i…
Became social vice president - check
Held events (soirees and dances) - check
Joined clubs - check
Joined a fraternity - check
Become an RA - check
Making money on Youtube - check
Kept grades - check
Pick a Major & Travel Abroad - Soon.
Mental appearances. Physical consciousness.
Vanish.
What’s really worth it?
Almost lost my way.
Again.
Brains a mesh.
How many times will the same thing play. Lifes a script on refresh.
Over and over same thing day to day. Just wishing sometimes i could just run away.
Listen. A lifetime of visualizing paradise.
Where is this paradise?
I wake up, roll over.
Roll the dice.
But i can’t run away anymore.
I’ve just got to endure, I’ve got too much to live for.
Once that’s accomplished, I’ve got too much to do.
Whats after college? For some people.. More schooling, jobs…
The world is infinitely huge with so many things to accomplish and so many things to do.
But what should i do?
I don’t want to be a doctor… I don’t want to be an engineer.. I don’t want to do any of these professions.. nor do i know what i want to do.
Shit all i know is that there is so much I haven’t done.
a bit too skinny
“Somedays i just wanna up and call it quits
I feel like I’m surrounded by a wall of bricks
Every time i go to get up i just fall in pits
My life’s like one big ball of shit.”
Ahh EM.
The act of not doing anything in the face of a wrong doing, is just as bad as being that wrong doer.
Why is it that sinners are so religious?
I know so many people. So many.. Dead people.
People that have been cruel and have “sinned”, were the ones that “lived” by the book, “lived” by religion and died with prayers on their lips.
While the much less cruel people.. had no faith, and…
Hmm.. Yeah i getcha, If you are close to god, and form a relationship and build your faith up, you will automatically do what you are supposed to do.
Thanks Sam! i mean i understand the concepts and everything, i guess things.. i dont know.. just dont feel right.. I dont know WHO KNOWS (: Thanks again what you said does make sense (:
Why is it that sinners are so religious?
I know so many people. So many.. Dead people.
People that have been cruel and have “sinned”, were the ones that “lived” by the book, “lived” by religion and died with prayers on their lips.
While the much less cruel people.. had no faith, and just died.. without faith.
What kind of hope that does give people like me. What am I supposed to anticipate?
Yes I’m confused.
